Wednesday, the paper fold.

Take a piece of paper and fold it in two exact parts. You see the line that is formed in the middle of the page? In my mind this line is Wednesday. Monday and Tuesday constitute the first part of the paper and Thursday and Friday make up the last part. Wednesday is just a milestone in the week. It helps you figure out where you stand and what remains to be done. 

I've never been an adept of "time management". When I was in high school and, subsequently at college, I've never been ahead of time on anything. I was always among the last ones to hand in my assignments and along with my group, we've spent a lot of sleepless night on the eve of a deadline just because we did absolutely nothing when we were supposed to work on the project in the first place.

I've never tried to read self-help books on time management and I never heed people's advice on how to better manage my time. I find the latter too personal and circumstance-based and the former too boring. 

The thing is, however, when I started working, something changed. I am responsible for my own work and for that of other people. This is the real thing, it is not a theoretical paper on the policy for a random company that will never be put into practice. The implications are real as well. And I am not in the least bit ashamed to say that the change was brought about my an important motivational factor: extrinsic motivation. Well, if you still haven't got it yet, I meant money! Nothing motivates you more (at least while you are still young) than the idea of being paid for doing your job effectively.

And so, some sort of adult and responsible biological clock started ticking, making me start planning my weeks in order to get things done on time. That paper fold on Wednesdays helps me to set things right until we reach Fridays. And you know what? Things are sometimes hectic but the stress is not there. It's not that I don't miss the rush of adrenaline that college days used to give me, but sometimes you gotta grow into a better version of yourself.

Vacations...

I've never been a "vacation-person". Every time I was on holidays the only place where I longed to be is the place where I get to spend less time: home. My idea of vacations has always been loose clothes, movies, TV shows, the net and anything else that makes you a good couch-potato. I never got the idea of a weekend "getaway". Why get away, when you can stay at home and be very happy about it.

However, I now stand corrected. I know why people go on vacations and I know why "getting away" can be something great sometimes.

Spending your holidays in an exotic place, especially with someone with whom you intend to spend the rest of your life, is a way to foresee what lies ahead. Quite a nutshell view, but I find it terribly useful.

Planned vacations teach you valuable life lessons such as:

1. Never overestimate certain things: You won`t actually eat or drink as much as you think you would. You might not have enough time to do all the activities you intended to do.

2. Unexpected things happen: The weather might not be ideal for swimming and it might just be too cold outside to do any outdoor activity.

3. Life is full of pleasant surprises: The food might surprise you or you might end up doing a walk that brings you to discover new things.

All in all I am happy we did it. And it might sound terribly cliché but home is really where the heart is.

Of pregnancy and abortion

I dreamt I was a butterfly, flitting around in the sky; then I awoke.
Now I wonder: Am I a man who dreamt of being a butterfly, or am I a
butterfly dreaming that I am a man? - Chuang Tzu

When I first read this as a kid, I found it truly beautiful. I don`t know if it was because it involves a butterfly or dreams. Even though this is a parable on the interchangeability between appearance and reality, I often figure out that it can be used to help people who feel that their opinion is the ultimate truth. This goes along the same line as George Orwell`s concept of "doublethink" whereby a person`s mind understands and accepts two contradictory ideas/believes/thoughts.

Today I read the opinion of a girl, who, I suppose is a very religious person. She was quoting a holy text to support why she is against abortion. I respect people who are religious in the same way that I respect Twilight fans; I would never understand why they are so much into it but I admire their zeal. However, I would never understand why someone would base her entire opinion on something as important as abortion on a text that was written thousands of years ago.

Anyway, coming back to adopting contradictory thoughts, my point is, you should always keep an open mind. Opinions change and it all depends on your situation. When I was a teenager and I`m sure I must not have been the only one, the epitome of horror was the idea of getting pregnant. Even though I was not sexually active at the time, it still scared the crap out of me to hear those stories of girls who, out of love or naivete or both got pregnant and who had to leave school and take care of their kids. Getting pregnant meant the end of that youthful nonchalance characterised by teenage years. Abortion would, of course, have been an option if ever I had gotten into such a situation.

As I got into adulthood, and seriously, I mean as from last year, I started thinking that if ever I got pregnant, I would happily await the arrival of the flesh of my flesh, the blood of my blood even on the occurrence that he/she is an accident. It`s just that I am now emotionally and financially ready to take this responsibility. I am talking about myself and this might seem terribly narcissistic but it`s just that being pro-choice or pro-life is deeply subjective. It`s the kind of opinion that evolves with time and I might add, maturity.

I know some women of my age who have had an abortion and I know one of them who has decided the keep the child. To each her own opinion and I salute each one of their choices... Who am I to judge anyway?

You never actually change until you hit rock bottom

I`m not one of those who would be quoting random stuff heard on TV or read somewhere, my last post made this clear enough. But the title of this post is actually something that Earl from My Name is Earl said, not word for word. But the essence is here: "You never actually change until you hit rock bottom".

Think about it... When was the last time you decided to eat healthy or workout? Is it because you suddenly had enough of seeing the state in which you were? Did you hit rock bottom? 

When did you decide to go slow on alcohol? Is it because you had enough of making a fool of yourself at every party? Did you hit rock bottom?

So today this thought occurred to me as I was trying to save the cake I`ve baked while figuring out how I forgot cream cheese for a birthday party and how I did not notice that my dessert cream in the fridge was way past expiry date. To top it all I had to fill some official papers, which I did at the last minute, committing lots of blunders and having a hard time fixing everything. To make it short, I had hit rock bottom... Hard. 

I had gone down from being the girl who had everything in control to someone who was mildly interested in everything that was happening around her and that she had to cope with. I had become the kind of person I hate.

And so the paperwork was done and the cake was salvaged. The birthday was a success. But still... There`s this nagging feel of self-disappointment that I gotta cope with...

Why you should get your own mind

Recently (or is it because I`ve started caring?) my Twitter feed and Facebook page is being flooded by random quotes and/or "witty" thoughts about friendship, relationships or life itself. Those quotes are often accompanied by images that I gather are there just in case you didn`t get what the message is about. On Twitter, those messages take the form of "retweets" of random/anonymous/seemingly meaningless accounts such as "daily-random-in-your-face-inspiration-quotes".

What`s the deal with inspiration quotes anyway? Who the hell is really inspired by those? You know what`s my idea of an inspiration quote? It`s anything that`s going through your mind at the moment that you are inspired into doing something and that`s it. It`s not some random quote about "life being a tree or about motivation coming from the heart or happiness being the key to the soul". These are so random that they become utterly ridiculous.

So why should you get your own mind? It`s simple: If you feel the need to constantly speak what has already been spoken and to "borrow" quotes from people, at the end of the day you end up being nothing but an empty shell, deprived of all willpower and ability to form words on your own. I know said like this it sounds serious, but it really is. What makes a person (especially on the internet) are first and foremost the words that the person speaks. Get your own mind, make grammatical mistakes, it`s OK. You might not turn out to be as witty/sarcastic/funny as you intended to be but those will be your own words.

Nothing is as liberating as speaking your mind with your own words. Absolutely nothing.