Thursday, 11 June 2009

Twisted Proverbs

This is what you get when you ask some drunk people to complete proverbs for you:

Much ado about... Britney Spears

Do right and fear... your boss

Practice makes... you look dumb

No sooner said than... regretted

So many head, so many... butts

To be as fit as a... Honda Jazz

Every cloud has... gas

There is no place like... that cool club we went to last night

God helps those who...are in the mafia

Long ways, long... glasses of beer

In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is...the Cyclops

Empty vessels food

Of two evils, choose the... more profitable one

There is no accounting for... Tomorrow

In the month of May... sleep, get laid and skip classes

In one's birthday... boozing party

As large as... Henry's girlfriend

To be left high and... drunk

To drain the cup of... coffee

To find the chink in someone's... chick

Violence breeds... Eminem

Truth is stranger than... the barman of the 5th avenue bar

You can take a horse to the water, but you cannot make him... dance the flamenco

Here are the original quotes, they were taken from the dictionary above.
  • Much ado about nothing
  • Do right and fear no man
  • Practice makes perfect
  • No sooner said than done
  • So many head, so many minds
  • To be as fit as a fidle
  • Every cloud has a silver lining
  • There is no place like home
  • God helps those who help themselves
  • Long ways, long lies
  • In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king
  • Empty vessels make most noise
  • Of two evils, choose the lesser
  • There is no accounting for tastes
  • In the month of May cast ne'er a clout away
  • In one's birthday suit
  • As large as life
  • To be left high and dry
  • To drain the cup of bitterness
  • To find the chink in someone's armour
  • Violence breeds violence
  • Truth is stranger than fiction
  • You can take a horse to the water, but you cannot make it drink
By now you might have guessed that I made it all up! Haha! It was fun twisting those proverbs. I thought of some really adult ones, but I refrained myself from posting them.

If you liked this post, you might also want to check out a similar one on keepmetal.

Take care dudettes and dudes and my aliens. I'm off to have a good bath and then Desperate Housewives! Yay!


  1. ha! nice one :P
    thanks for the laugh lol

    hey the original ones made me think of This xkcd comic (/me prays that html tags are recognised xD), seems that the ideas might be applicable to proverbs too (though not all of them work, but some fit quite nicely :P)

  2. @ Kyu, I was mentally adding the "except in bed" to some of those proverbs. Gave me a good laugh! "Practice makes perfect, except in bed"! haha!
    "there is no accounting for tastes, except in bed" ;D

    @ Waz, glad you liked it! :p

  3. hehe
    i love in the month of may one ;p


  4. yups, "violence breeds violence, except in bed" ha! xD

  5. Rooch, I was thinking you'd love this one! :p

    Kyu, in the end, there are so many possibilities. Haha!
    Truth is stranger than fiction, except in bed.

  6. lmfao nice concept!
    btw you guys are adding except in bed.
    you may also add your blog names to proverbs
    much ado about nothing on something to talk about :p
    practise makes perfect on something to talk about
    empty vessels make most noise on something to talk about
    dont mind me, just playing along xD

  7. In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is...the Cyclops

    Haha that one's my favorite.